“I’ll never love again,” Kate told herself, after her second divorce was finalized shortly after her fiftieth birthday. “No man is worth the pain.” She had recently moved to a house on an acre of land in a new state, where she had no friends or family nearby. Instead of meeting new people, she surrounded herself with cats, dogs, and a flock of hens, who made her feel needed, safe, and loved.
While looking for her peace of mind, Kate unknowingly built a fortress around herself where she learned how to live with a different kind of pain: a gnawing loneliness rooted in her belief that big failures in love didn’t deserve any more chances, especially at her age. The danger of building walls, as illustrated by Kate’s story, is that after they are built, it’s easy to get trapped inside.
Boundaries, a term I hear so often these days, are another kind of wall we create to defend ourselves from past hurts. Do you think you need to draw a better line because you overextend yourself to others? Does your boss always take advantage of your time? Do you get repeatedly frustrated when you say “yes” to everything that’s asked of you?
Setting more boundaries, however well-intentioned, rarely keeps our unwanted behaviors from happening again. For all the effort you spend thinking about enforcing them and wishing they worked, fatigue, resentment, and disappointment often follow.
What lies beneath that boundary you want to set? Are you doing too much because someone in your past taught you that everything you did was never quite enough? Are you saying “yes” because you want to be a good girl or boy? Does their approval equal love in your current equation?
eutaptics® FasterEFT™ teaches you, quickly and effectively, how to adjust and rewrite the past memories, so that heavy boundary-setting is no longer your second career. You no longer say yes to that boss or that one friend who always takes more than she gives, because you naturally value yourself, internally, at the deepest levels possible.
In other words, when you clear up the old memories that were processed into faulty beliefs, you get to decide the rules of engagement, dictate how you react to things, and give up on taking things so personally.
eutaptics® FasterEFT™ helped Kate understand how the real line and source of all peace was within herself. She tapped on the hurts she experienced in her relationships with humans, from childhood to adulthood, and opened up to the idea of accepting their companionship again. This technique has helped thousands of people over the years, and it can help you too.
If you’re exerting more effort setting your boundaries than living a fearless life of adventure and freedom, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself today is sign up for one of my virtual Tap-Along events or book a life-changing and empowering one-on-one session with me.
Peace,
Robert Gene