How To Deal With Expectations | Life Hack

February 8, 2018

Expectations can put a lot of pressure on anyone.

There will always be occasions in your life that demand extra effort on your part.

You will feel like you’re always trying, and failing, to live up to people’s unrealistic expectations.

Whether it’s your spouse, your parents, your kids, your boss, your colleagues, your business partners – the cause of your expectation anxiety is the same.

For example, we’re sure you’ve had this experience –

Expectation: Summer is approaching and you expect it to be relaxing, do some traveling, do tons of reading by the pool, organize your closet and pamper yourself.

Reality: You have a really busy summer, and things didn’t go exactly as you had planned.

Your kids dropped in for a surprise visit, with the grandkids in tow.

Instead of relaxing by the pool you went camping with your family, did some hiking, went swimming in a lake with your grandchildren, read only three good books, turned 55 and got really tanned.

Now, you have two choices – you can feel upset that your expectations of a perfect summer weren’t met, or, you can choose to enjoy the summer you did get to experience.

However, it’s not easy for the majority of us to simply ignore expectations and make the choices we really want to make regardless of what others may think or expect.

Many people subconsciously try to live up to the expectation of others, and not just very specific people, but many people – and even the expectations of strangers.

As we mentioned above, this is not a conscious decision – if it was, we would be able to choose to turn off that compulsion when it means doing something that is not in our best interests.

To change the compulsion, it is necessary to change the original cause that the subconscious mind is referring to.

Here’s another scenario

You’re sitting on park bench looking at a beautiful sunset, looking at the hues in the sky and feeling the cool breeze on your skin.

Seems picturesque doesn’t it?

But then you start to feel a profound sadness, disappointment and frustration taking over.

While staring at the sunset, all of your life’s expectations came flashing to your mind.

Thoughts like, “No, this is not what my life was supposed to be like.

I was supposed to be happily married.

I was supposed to have my own house, my own business.

I was supposed to be happy and successful.

What happened?”

What happened is that you are part of the majority of the people on this planet, not the exception.

Our lives rarely turn out to be the way we expect.

However, that doesn’t mean you are not successful in your own right.

You have your own achievements, accomplishments, highs and lows in life – just like any other person.

Expectation then becomes subjective and shouldn’t be used as a tool to punish yourself.

Why Unrealistic Expectations Are Bad

People go through life expecting to be the exception – the next Bill Gates, Robert G. Smith, Sheryl Sandberg, Louise Hay, Angela Merkel – or whoever you admire.

You assumed that if you worked hard enough, for long enough you would succeed.

In your 20s you think: If I do well at college I’m going to succeed;

By your 30s it’s like: If I pour my heart and soul into this marriage, it has to work.

By your 40s you think: If I love my children enough they have to turn out a success.

Before you realize it, you become a slave to expectations, both yours and others, and instead of motivating you, it starts to tear you down.

Your peace of mind, self-confidence and self-esteem all seem to be broken.

Even though you may not be who you wanted to be, don’t have what you expected to have and don’t do what you’re expected to do, you can be happy.

This kind of pressure can often make you feel like you’re losing your identity.

If you’ve ever wondered what is a healthy amount of expectation to have, then FasterEFT has the answer.

Expectation anxiety can make it really difficult to make decisions, because your self-worth is connected to the fear of letting others down.

By using FasterEFT, you can release and overcome these fears.

Living upto Expectations

The person who is unable to stop going against their own desires to please people has a subconscious program.

This program is serving as “proof” that their survival depends on the approval and acceptance of others.

This is why the pattern is so difficult to break.

The subconscious mind will do whatever it takes to keep you in alignment with your “truth” – even if that means going against your own conscious desires.

In order to free yourself from trying to live up to expectations, you need to change the original cause in your subconscious mind.

The most effective way to do this is by using the FasterEFT process.

FasterEFT is designed to work with the subconscious to access and change original records from limiting to empowering “evidence”.

What is FasterEFT – A Quick Overview

“Records” or memories are created and filed by the subconscious mind from birth.

As you experience the world, your subconscious interprets your experiences and files the meaning as ‘proof’ or ‘evidence’ of who you are and how the world works.

This is how we learn to survive in our environment.

These records are not necessarily accurate since they are filtered through each other.

This is why it is so difficult for the conscious mind to identify where limiting beliefs have originated.

The original record may appear to have no connection to your current problem.

The subconscious mind has no ability to reason or use logic, it’s like a computer.

It simply follows what it’s programmed to do without judgement.

So your mind’s interpretations may not have obvious links to the problem of expectations you’re experiencing.

How Does FasterEFT Work?

A childhood memory will be the original cause of your desire to live up to the expectations of others.

And when you have to make a choice between living up to someone’s expectations, or ignoring them, your subconscious mind will refer to the memories it holds.

It will then prompt your brain to trigger your organs to produce chemicals that cause feelings.

You may have noticed yourself feeling anxious when considering the possibility of failing to live up to expectations.

You’ll feel a burst of fear at the idea of taking an expected action, and when your conscious mind registers these feelings, it gives meaning to them – that you have to live up to expectations, and why.

The conscious mind uses reason and logic to make sense of things.

It comes up with logical reasons why you have no choice but to strive to live up to those expectations.

When you change the original memories your subconscious mind prompts your brain to trigger different chemical reactions – causing you to consciously think differently.

Two people can be in the same circumstance at the same time, and have different reactions.

It’s not about the circumstances, it’s about the original records they hold.

How to deal with Expectations – The Solution

So, how do you change the original records that make you want to live upto others’ expectations?

Step #1

Think about your earliest or strongest memory of not living up to someone’s expectations.

Notice the details of that memory – see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt.

Remember how it felt when you failed to live up to their expectations.

How it felt see or hear their disappointment or anger.

Take note of what that feeling feels like, where in your body you feel it, and how strong it is.

Step #2

Using two fingers, gently tap the following meridian points while focusing on the feeling of your fingertips on your skin and saying the phrases (for more guidance on what to say, read: What to Say When Tapping).

– Between your eyebrows – “I release and let this go”

– Beside your eye – “Let it go”

– Under your eye – “It’s okay to let this go now”

– Just below your collarbone – “I don’t need it anymore and it’s safe to let it go now”

Step #3

Grab your wrist, take a deep breath, blow it out and say “Peace”.

Now, think about a happy memory – something that feels good – and enjoy that for a moment.

Step #4

Go back to the memory you focused on in Step #1, and notice what’s different.

Notice if the feeling has changed or moved position in your body.

Notice if the intensity is different.

Just notice what is left.

Also notice any other memories or thoughts that come to you – just notice them.

Step #5

Repeat Steps #2 through #4 until you cannot feel the bad feeling anymore.

Keep tapping until any bad feelings and thoughts have been replaced by good ones; and until all bad memories have changed into good ones.

As you are tapping, you may notice that other memories come up for you that may appear to have nothing to do with trying to live up to expectations – tap on them anyway.

If they’re coming up, it means that your subconscious has somehow connected them, and they need to be cleared.

How to Change Yourself – The Basics

Level 1 Training

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In this course you will learn how the mind works, how we process information and the foundation of tapping and the thinking system of Eutaptics / FasterEFT.

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